End
The short answer is to begin now. If you are looking at this website, then you have given at least some thought to what will happen when you or a loved one is faced with an an advanced incurable condition. So have a conversation with yourself and your loved ones as soon as possible, while you are healthy. Do not wait until some health crisis makes this conversation urgent and fraught with fear and confusion. Go to Starting the Conversation, one of the resource pages on this website, where you will find some useful tools for getting this conversation started and the kinds of questions to ask.
Now is also the time to start a conversation with your primary physician about what your wishes are for the last stage of your life, what your goals of care might be, and where you would choose to spend your final days if you are able to choose.
And now is the time to set your goals and wishes down on paper in the form of an Advance Directive. An advance directive is a statement of what kind of medical treatment you want and, often more important at the end of life, what kind of medical treatment you want to avoid. When you become unable to make your own medical decisions, your advance directive gives direction to your medical team and whoever you have designated as your surrogate decision-maker (aka, your medical power of attorney).
When, Where, and How to Begin
Patients, Families & Caregivers
This page at the Goals of Care Coalition of New Jersey website provides clear and comprehensive guidance for creating an advance directive, having a conversation with your loved ones, and taking to your primary physician.
Keep the Conversation Going
Your goals and wishes for your medical care and your feelings about how you want your life to end are bound to change with the changing circumstances of your life and health. As important as it is to put those goals in writing, it is the ongoing conversation with your loved ones and your doctor that will give you written wishes clarity and force.